Just when I thought I was all that I could be i.e. Just a plain jane, trodden on & worthless, sorry excuse for a woman..someone came into my life. A man. But not just any man..this was a real man- Real men really are incredibly rare these days, especially in my world.

At first, I refused to open my heart to you. I was frightened, skeptical & it goes without saying I didn’t think I was worthy of anyone’s love & affection.

So many years, so many bad relationships. It’s no secret I’m drawn to “bad boys”, stupidly, blindly drawn to these arseholes. My history forever condemned to repeat itself. Being treated like shit is all I’ve ever known.

Until you.

You slowly, carefully led me out of the dark hole I had climbed inside & been kept inside for so long..into the light & opened my eyes. Made me realize, what I’d really known all the long but..refused to accept.

You held my hand & for the first time in my life, didn’t try to change me or smother me. You brought me out of my shell & watched me flourish. Before my very own eyes I’ve seen myself blossom. I’ve grown, hugely since I met you. I have found my strength again & I’m using it with every thing I do. It can be seen for miles, shining out of me. A solitary light in a world of darkness. My eyes are full of life & happiness. The fire in my heart burns like never before. I look at myself these days & can’t help but smile. For the first time, looking in the mirror, I don’t see a stranger. I don’t see a sullen, lost, tear stained face..I no longer see those dark eyes..or the strawberry gashes from the night before.I hold my head up high & take in every inch of myself. Sure, I’m far from perfect..but, I am me & I am beautiful, strong & simply..me.

I’ve always asked how I would ever get to the stage of loving myself..Before I can truly love anyone, I have to be able to love myself.

This is what I’m doing baby. I’m loving myself.

It’s a long road indeed & it’s take me more than enough time to get here already but I’ve finally found the path to take & with each step my days get brighter & brighter. The fog is clearing & the sun is breaking through the clouds. I could almost skip down this road my love..hand in hand with you. Beaming at you with the greatest smile I’ve ever known.

It’s your birthday today. I know it may not seem like much to you, but to me..it is everything. I only wish I could hold you right now & celebrate with you the way I’d like. I am with you in spirit though my darling, my heart beating next to yours.. I feel so blessed I am able to spend this day with you. Even if we’re not through the woods yet, today is very special to me.

So, Happy Birthday darling.

I love you, with all my heart, mind & soul.