I received an email from the police officer back home telling me “It would take months to arrange your original diary to be seized as a production….so could you please keep it & bring it back with you on your return to Scotland”.
I’m sorry, you’ve lost me.. “seized”? Diary? You mean the book I created collages in as a distraction for my self-injury where I mention on one page that I was sexually abused, years after the fact..There’s no “original diary” nor evidence in this whatsoever. Yes, it backs up how my stepfather found out about the abuse – he’s a nosey fuck. But my statement holds more, a hell of a lot more. That’s if it’s ever taken.
These people aren’t seizing shit from me. You want my faux diary? How about my goddamn blog.
Perhaps I’d meet in the middle with a photocopy of said page, with said sentence, everything else blotted out, but the whole book? No. There are writings in there that I do not will not have anyone else see.
Bearing in mind, I am not pressing charges. I’ll make him think I am yes, nothing wrong with a good old mind fuck, but I am not ready for anything other than my statement & even then, I’m not exactly doing this because I want to.
Ah, what a cheery start to such a dreary morning.
Sorry to hear how dunb the police are. I hope things work out. And, I hope returning home won’t be too horrible for you, just keep the eye on the prize at the end of the 6 weeks
Oh, and the sushi you saw in the photo was AMAZING! (like, seriously, it was and I would not have wasted it like the idiots you described!)
By: Lee on July 30, 2008
at 7:55 pm
Holy frickin’ crap! Production for what? Isn’t real life a big enough production… hence why we have to make little movies so that we can water down the truth, exploit the truth, and bring validation to our own insanity??
Your diary is private property. Why are they wanting to take it from you?
By: Cassandra on July 30, 2008
at 9:00 pm
Lee: You can say that again. Thank you for your sentiments, I too hope people will lay off me a bit this time round.
Now that you mention it, I’ve been having a real bad sushi craving all day.. pref something with salmon please.
=======
Cassandra: It sure is private property. They want it because they believe it is evidence I guess. Obviously there has been some confusion as to what is written in it. But as I have said several times to Bear this evening, if they want it, they’re going to have to come & collect the embers, over our dead bodies.
By: AudaciousAria on July 30, 2008
at 10:30 pm
You are right, it is evidence of your life — just like your birth certificate, graduation diploma, the lease you signed for your apartment, and the blog you write in everyday… evidence that you are LIVING and things you have accomplished and proof you exist!
Hello? Could they just not call you on the phone and request a statement rather than use a form of artistic coping expression to use as “evidence”? They have lost their minds…
By: Cassandra on July 31, 2008
at 8:14 am
Wow….that is awful.I can’t imagine how much of an nvasion that must feel like. After all you have gone through, now they want to get into your most personal of places, the place where you think it is safe to write/express anything… I am so sorry. However I am still so proud of you that you are facing all of this head on. I have never even pursued filing a report or prosecuting my abuser. It has been so many years ago…I just feel like it would be more then I could handle. I can finally make it through a month (actually it has been 6 months) without cutting. You are so brave! I also had no idea you could not stay in America, I guess I just take being here for granted, and forgot the process you would have to go through to stay here for good. Do you think you will do that? Apply for citizenship?
By: Zoe on July 31, 2008
at 10:21 am
Indeed, the most personal of spaces.. like I’ve not been through enough. Like I said, there’s definitely been confusion about what is written there. For a start it was written last November. Second, there’s only a mere sentence here & there, stating the fact I was abused. My statement holds more than anything, this is bullshit at it’s best.
Thankyou for being proud of me, that means so much.. I don’t blame you for not having pursed any of this.. I’m sorry you even have to consider such a thing.
Really, well done on 6 months free. You’re an inspiration.
While I’m here in America, I too can take it for granted.. I really do hope to apply for citizenship.. I want this to be my forever.
By: AudaciousAria on July 31, 2008
at 12:47 pm
[...] was remembering this morning how odd I thought it was my mother asking me if I had brought my diary over here with me. I told her I had & didn’t think anymore of it. Why couldn’t she [...]
By: All Idiots get 40% Off - Sale ends this Weekend. « Audacious Aria on July 31, 2008
at 1:54 pm
[...] “Anxious, obviously, because he hasn’t heard anything“. Is he hell, I emailed him regarding my non-diary weeks ago & he didn’t bother to reply. Either way, it’s nice to know their in each [...]
By: Prying Eyes « Audacious Aria on August 18, 2008
at 4:29 pm
[...] Interest” my Arse I mentioned again to my mother when she asked me if I had my diary over here with me – she knows fine fucking well I don’t but alas, evidently she hadn’t [...]
By: “Public Interest” my Arse « Audacious Aria on September 5, 2008
at 6:15 pm