As I said, we were interviewed separately so whilst Bear was with the detective I hauled out some of the coloring books & got to work. I’d forgotten how therapeutic coloring in could be. In fact, here’s a peek at my work(s) of art.

So I let my inner child run free for half an hour, big deal.

I’m still wound up. I’ve been wound up since last night. I’m exhausted but my mind won’t stop. My eyes are so dry from lack of sleep. I managed to eat some dinner this evening, much to my surprise. I didn’t dare eat anything this morning from fear of throwing up….

I haven’t spoken to my mother yet, she blew the phone up this morning but neither of us answered. I wasn’t going to give her the opportunity to upset me or make anything harder. It’s always best to steer well clear of her at times like this. Especially when I’m on such a short fuse. My dad was online when I came home though & took his usual insensitive approach, but I kept him at bay with as little detail as possible. The only person I’m going to relay any of this to, at least for now, is Bear.

My dad said I should be proud of myself. Maybe so. I’m more numb than anything right now. It all seems very surreal & I can’t help but wonder if Pandora’s box has only been opened wider. I mean, did I just reach right on in there & fork out everything I had?

I’m heading for a complete burn out, I know it. Quite like Bear who’s just beat me to it – he’s flat out, snoring on our bed right now. Bless.

I figure my inner child is still hanging out here with me right now, she’s protecting me. I honestly believe, if I didn’t have the ability to revert into a bit of a kid I’d be a complete mess right now.