August 10th 2007 was when I created & made my first post on Audacious Aria.

So much has changed since then, (& I don’t just mean Themes – I’m sure you’ve noticed the change). I don’t even care to remember where I was this time last year. If you read the post I’m sure you’ll get a clue but that Chapter is gladly gone, even if its memories still haunt me. Today, I’m where I want to be & I’m happier than ever. Even if I am surrounded by a very scary world at the moment, I know that here in this house, in His arms, I’m safer than ever too.

A year of blogging, a year of me & It really has been a year of me too. With Bear as my witness, I have blossomed in so many ways. I look back on some of what I’ve written & can barely believe I’ve made it to where I am now. It’s sure as hell not been easy, I’ll say that much. But having written my way through the tough times, I see my blog as a tool more than ever now. More valuable to me than it ever will be to my readers. It’s important to take a good look back sometimes, even if it’s just to see how far you’ve come or even to go as far as to reevaluate everything. The only thing I’m reevaluating is my opinion of myself. I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. I am so much better than I think I am. I put myself down & push myself in all the wrong ways. I can be so cruel to myself it’s unreal & it needs to stop.

A fine example of how I felt this time last year;

And how I feel now;

You know, this time last year I was almost 100 days self injury free. The longest I’d gone in years. A mere 8 days later I was back to square one. Due to people I never thought possible but such is life. Point is, & I know it’s took me a good while to begin again, but I’m now 4 months, 1 week & 2 days free. After everything that I’ve been through in that time, I can truly say that I am fucking awesome.