So I haven’t written in a while. I’m still itching, there’s a lot going on, it’s just a struggle to get anything out. I honestly don’t have that much to say for myself really.

I’m depressed & I’ve pretty much just shut down, please excuse me.

My step-father is in hospital again, last time it was pneumonia, this time it’s because his cornea transplant has rejected – 15 years later.

This is only one of the repercussions of his wishing away a cold that turned nasty. He’s been fighting this eye infection since early May & you know, you’d think with it being in his transplanted one, he’d have taken it far more seriously. But it is what it is & there’s no doubt in my mind he’ll never change.

I still haven’t heard anything about my statement. But lets not go there shall we.

What else, what else…

My mother has been killing me with her “what have you eaten today?”, “Eat this”, “Eat more” routines. So I’m not eating. I’m working 2pm till 10pm at night (by the time I actually sit down at night it’s after 11pm mind you) & I’m not eating.

It’s not that I’m making a conscious decision here, it’s truly not, it’s merely that I have no appetite. I look at myself in the mirror these days & hate what I see. I’m unhappy, I’m home-sick, I’m stressed out & you know what, I just don’t care.

Sigh.

All I want is to go back home. 7 weeks left. The last 3 have surely flown by but my god, 7 weeks… seems like a lifetime right now.