Tonight my ring finger feels naked & just as awkward as it did after that ring was first placed on it.

There’s a lot of things I feel I can’t write about here, because Bear reads this blog. I can’t say what I need to. But it’s not a matter of wanting to vent anymore, it’s a matter of needing to get it the fuck out & I have no-one in my life that I can do this with, it has to be here on this blog. And you know what, this is my fucking blog & I’m sick of password protecting the posts I think will hurt.

Because words hurt.

Being called a fucking whore, Hurts.

Being called a moron & being called a fucking whore are two very different things & you picked the wrong fucking one.

I didn’t say to you that I never wanted to go to your fucking high school reunion. You chose to cancel because it would mean breaking the bank for the tickets alone not to mention something for each of us to wear. You were the one to say all this, I merely followed along.

Yet, three months later & I’m the one getting fucked up the arse for it right?

Never mind that any of these fucks have ever bothered to stay remotely friendly with you.

But why, I didn’t make it seem important – Well fuck me if I couldn’t read your fucking mind! Who the fuck are you, my Personnel manager?!

You said yourself that it would be incredibly boring for me & you didn’t want to go alone. Or maybe you fucking did & I had my psychic powers turned off that day. I don’t know nor do I fucking care anymore.

What’s wrong with me?! What’s fucking wrong with me?! You fucking attacked me out of nowhere with this bullshit! & you expect me to put it behind me? Just like that?

Since I’m just like my family what’s the goddamn point right. What is the fucking point. I’m nothing but a whore remember?

And you say I’m the one pushing us apart. Get real, you’ve been doing that long enough with your drinking & petty arguments.

I’m fucking done with it. I cannot & will not take any of the bullshit anymore. Any of it. I will not be married at 21, to someone like this.

I will not cheapen myself, even if I am a whore, to a life of dead-end misery & bullshit like this.

6 & a half months & I no-longer know why I bothered.