I’m going to make this short & sweet, just for today.

Below the cut is an open letter to my family regarding the abuse by my uncle.

I haven’t sent it yet but I am planning on doing so in the coming week. I’m going to copy at least a dozen family members on this, including my abuser & his wife.

I would really appreciate any honest thoughts & feedback..

Thank you.

CC: …

I mean, really? A* went to the police because he’s fearful of my father? Because he received one scary little email? That’s rich. – What, did you really think it would all be peaches and cream?

Tell you what – Report this;

I am the victim here. I was the one who was abused, sexually & mentally from the age of thirteen until I left the country at sixteen. I go to the police & get nothing. Yet my rapist gets some sort of protection? Nice.

However, the buck doesn’t just stop at the police & this is why I’m writing an open letter to you all.

I believe every single one of you need to know what a profound impact A* has had on my life. I need you all to hear my voice & understand that this did happen & it is true. I feel like this has been swept under the rug, & in turn I feel that no-one will stand for me. Least up to now, no-one has. I do give thanks to the few who have given me some support, but generally, I do feel like I am alone here.

Back on August 6th 2008 I made my statement against him in America after family urged me forward months after they found out in November 2007. Since then I have faced a grueling battle with police for some sort of justice & closure, yet I have found neither. I have done everything I can, but Scottish law requires I have a witness or some sort of corroboration.

That’s how close it was, A*.
If we were in America you would have been charged & sentenced to a cold prison cell by now. The fact you have walked away legally scott-free is not because I am a liar or that I didn’t give enough evidence. It is purely because of how Scottish law stands.
However, I do believe that I am not the only victim here. Someone like you doesn’t just stop with one child. I know you better than that. And I can only hope someone else can nail your ass to the cross before your days are done.

I have no doubt there has been a lot of whispering, gossip & speculation. I notice a few people cannot even look me in the eye anymore. This is why I am writing this letter.
I did my part by making my statement & I’m doing it again by addressing the family.

It wasn’t until the day I found myself sitting across the table from the Detective that I finally woke up & realized exactly what he had done to me. All these years I had kept his words in mind. I believed it was my own fault & had managed to convince myself that nothing was actually wrong, almost to the point that nothing had even happened. But it was wrong & it most certainly did happen.
What he did has many titles but to name a few it was molestation, rape & incest. And it destroyed my life.

Apparently, if I told anyone he would “Lose his wife, children & business”.

Well, what about what I lost?!

A* took away my innocence, my childhood, my trust & my confidence. He took me away from my family, my friends & even my education. A* shattered my entire world. Everything that was ever good in my life, he warped if not obliterated.

As a result I am not the woman I should be today.
For years I’ve been walking around with this empty void inside of me, dealing with the intense problems that come with being molested & raped by not just anyone, but a trusted family member who lured me & everyone else into a false sense of security by, heaven forbid, showing an interest in me for the first time ever in my life. Little did I know it was purely because I had hit puberty. This was not an uncle looking to have a relationship with his niece, this was a predator looking for a victim.

Whether people really believe me or not, it doesn’t particularly matter. Because I know that if this haunts me, it sure as hell haunts him. Sometimes I wonder if he really did think I wouldn’t grow up & find the courage to tell anyone. I suppose it’s just a pity, that it took the best part of 8 years of my life to do so.

Little by little, I am trying to heal. But just as his nightmare over me didn’t occur over a day or two, neither will this. With the support of my immediate family & my American family, I will get there eventually. But thanks to him, I was never be completely free.

Finally, I want to urge those of you with children to be aware. Listen even to the whispers in the back of your mind. Trust your instincts, because on something like this, they will always be correct.
Don’t be naïve. A* was supposed to be my God Father, for Christ’s sake.
All the signs were there, but nobody was looking. I mean this wasn’t just one or two times, this was over a period of three years. So please, pay attention & don’t let your child navigate something like this alone.

Police aside, only A* & I know the truth of what went on all those years ago in his car, his work van, his old rental flat, my mothers house, my fathers house, his old house, his make-shift office in the old garage, & the now home he, his wife & children live in now.
Yes, interesting I know. Baby-sitting wasn’t the only excuse he came up with I’m afraid Diane.

Ultimately, A* will have to live with this for the rest of his life. Just like I do, as well as everyone else his evil has touched. But luckily for me, I start a fresh in America. A country he will never be allowed to enter, whether he wants to or not, I don’t care, he will never be allowed in.
The Scottish police force might be of little use, but  the American’s don’t play. They protect me just like they do their own citizens, one of which I will soon be. And from that day onward, just like the day I broke my silence, he will lose all control over me & my life.

Until then & ever there after, the wagons need to be circled & together this family needs to do what’s right. We have never been close I know, & maybe none of you even feel like you owe me anything. But I was thirteen, I was a child & well, if family means anything to you, I guess you have to listen to your own conscience on this don’t you.

Unlike A*, I cannot force anyone to do or say anything. I do not want to see anyone do anything illegal, simply because it is him & only him who needs to be punished.

I cannot force you to cut him out of your life, but surely, what he has done should be enough for him to receive some sort of repercussion. Some form of punishment. There are plenty of legal routes open to us. But I can assure you, sitting in silence & avoiding the issue is not one of them.

The police are no longer behind us, there is no legal punishment available.
As mothers, fathers, sisters & brothers, aunties & uncles, nieces, nephews & cousins, we cannot let him away with this. The only thing left is the family fall-out.
This is it.

Faithfully,