I had my first interview since I lost my job today & all went well.

The girl was really nice & we discovered a shared love for rescue dogs – she rescued an abused Staffordshire bull terrier a few years back, another breed in Britain with a bad rap like my beloved American Pit Bull terrier, so that was pretty cool.

I’m still waiting to hear regarding my hours but I reckon I start on Monday! Honestly, it was more like having coffee with a friend than a job interview. We sat for an hour & a half talking about everything from dogs to how the Polish immigrants are cheating our Benefits & Tax system. My kind of girl most definitely!

I’m desperate to be earning money again. What with flights, Visa, transport, medical, food, clothes & tattoo’s to pay for!

I never did share my new tattoo(s) with y’all.. Guess I was afraid it might blow my anonymity?  I mean come on, next time you pass that chick on the street with the cherry blossom half sleeve you’re totally going to grab her & be all like,

“Oh.My.GOD. It’s you!! Audacious Aria!! I love you! You’re so talented & beautiful & sexy! Here, have all my money!”

I’m right aren’t I, I’m right, I’m right!

Here, something Scottish to laugh at.

30 minutes in a car with one kitten, one Pit-Bull & one screaming semi-feral adult cat? I need a freakin’ drink!!

We’re back home, but not before this raging beast tore through the box she barely even made it into let alone stayed in.

Who’d have thought it…..

And when I say screaming, I mean screaming. It was angry & it was loud. She even left spots of blood around that hole from her gums after biting her way out. My heart broke for the poor thing, but unfortunately we didn’t have a choice in the matter – perhaps in planned times we’d be able to give her a sedative of some kind but hell, this was hardly a planned trip out to the sister-in-laws for a nice wee holiday was it.

Glad to be home – I think we all are!

*Link Heavy*

So I keep getting loads of hits from “Don’t fuck with Scottish people”. Aye! You’re damn right you fucking don’t!

Snort.

Looking back over this past year of blogging, some of the search hits I’ve had are pretty fucking funny, weird & even a little disconcerting.

“Where is Michelle Obama” Is my top search with 584 views on this post. And yes I know, did they bundle her into the back of a van & keep her there with duct tape round her mouth for the rest of the race or what? Shame they even let her back out at all. But I’ll stop here, this post wasn’t mean to be political let alone a rant – a first I know.

Before I move on however, lets be clear – “I hate Michelle obama” And there my friends, is my next top search term!

So next up comes “Ode to the Motherland” Don’t tell me you don’t remember that one!….

Sometimes I wonder how bored some people must be when I see some of the more… R rated searches come in. Tell me, when you’re searching for  “Scottish lassie getting fucked” are you after the accent or the kilt?

I feel sorry for the folks ending up at this post after searching “Bubble butt”.

Seriously though, some of them I’m not even going to repeat on here. There was one, amongst all the nasty shit that hit a nerve.

“Reasons for making a statement” & “Prosecuting an abuser”.

I do hope whoever passed through here using those terms hasn’t been following the goings on with my case – enough to put one off surely? Because honestly I do hope that once it’s all over I will feel some sort of, well, this “closure” they keep telling me about sounds pretty good doesn’t it?

One I didn’t think I’d see come up very often was “Black Privilege”, but surprise, surprise, it’s alive & well.

Last but not least, does this one scream desperate bf/husband or what? – “pms help why women moody?”

Ah, angry women. Bull dogs & lipstick? I bring you Sarah Palin & her gun control.

Oh Christ I know, she watches Fox News and Palin is her fucking home girl!? Hit the X, hit the X!

7 Things I can do:

1. Make the most fun I can out of the smallest of things. I revert back to being a child sometimes, I can be so silly with the voices & dancing like a loony – my favorite right now is the Penguin & the SoyJoy – See! – I swear you’d think I’d been smoking the wacky backy sometimes.
   
2. Moan. Moan, moan, moan, moan, moan. I love a good moan. Y’all should try it some time, certainly makes me feel better.
3. Rip someone apart like a rabid raccoon with as little as a look, in as little as 5 seconds. My gut instinct has never failed me & I’m totally on the ball with jokes, sarcasm & holy hell, can I be one motherfuckin’ bitch when I want to.
4. Manipulate? Me? – Seriously though, I have one serious Poker Face, even though in the end if I hate you, you so fucking know it.
5. Express myself on this blog more than I ever can or could with anyone or anything. Write here until my hearts content yet there will always be more, deeper, better or more likely worse things. Things that even when I believe I’m being completely open & honest on this blog, I’m not. There are so many things I wish I could get out here, but I can’t.
6. Procrastinate. Now this I’m good at. It’s a family thing. It’s also a terrible affliction when it comes to deciding what to do with my hours, day, education & future. I simply cannot be fucking bothered, is the best explanation. I start with the best of intentions most of the time but damn can I drag my feet.
7. Start off with the hopes of writing something positive to perhaps cancel out the last post which was full of mid PMS rage & well, understandable upset… yet I seem to have filled the first 7 6 points (I had to force #1 out) with well, bad qualities?

7 Things I can’t do: ……..

1. Cope with rejection or any sort of slight. I just can’t handle it, I will go the fuck off. Difference is nowadays, I’ll go off at you rather than myself.
2. Accept the things I cannot change. I’m always going to be a dreamer, a hoper & a wisher.
3. Understand where November went.
4. Read on in a car, bus, plane. Motion sickness much?
5. Control my temper mouth when it comes to homophobia, religion, bigots or elitists. Don’t even get me started on Democrats – ah, but the Messiah is here now, we’re all saved! Funny how he managed that though, what with all “they” – & I’m assuming by “they” he meant the white man -  do to oppress, right? Well shit me a coconut – look what you fucking did! Next!
6. Stop once I get started. I swear this shit can last for days, weeks even. I find it really hard to get over certain things now & again & I find myself re-visiting them several times a day, even if it is just a “I can’t fucking believe that”
   moment. – That’s pretty much how I am right now with the police thing, especially since everyone seems to have gone radio silent on me.
7. Believe I started this fucking Meme. It’s been 2 hours already! (With one eye on Cops)

“Bad boys, bad boys. Who ya gonna call?!”

7 Material things I love:

1. My laptop. I don’t know where I’d be without it – I certainly wouldn’t have met Bear so, safe to say I’d still be in an abusive relationship back in the UK. Not to mention, when I am back in Scotland, this is my main line, only line of communication really, to Bear.
2. I’m not sure it would be right to call our two cats & pit-bull “material things” but all the same, I love them. Like really love them.
3. My SuperDry sweatpants. I fucking adore them. Sweatpants I really can look & feel sexy in – serious hip huggers!
4. My engagement ring. When I told him it was the one, I meant it.
5. Now that I think about it, the necklace & earrings Bear gave me back in Summer are very precious to me as well.
6. Lion & Uncie Sam – I’ve had Lion (a softy in the form of a Lion, funnily enough) since I was born & Uncie Sam (a little brown Teddy) was the first ever gift Bear gave me – he was posted to Scotland from Kentucky a year ago now & like Lion, he’s been on every flight I’ve ever been on too. He’s got another 38 flights ahead of him if he really wants to catch up with Lion though).
7. Our new apartment. It’s beautiful. Certainly the best place I’ve ever lived in & I’ve been around a bit!

7 Foods I love:

1. Chicken Chow Mien – but it has to be Scottish chow mien – it’s just better.
2. Chocolate (but it has to be real chocolate. None of this Hershey’s bullshit. You guys over here are seriously missing out with all your sweeteners & shit. It’s a wonder America is still so r0und too. (No offense).
3. I was never one for Fast-food but a Big Mac, soft fries (teeny tiny touch of salt) & an Iced-Mocha will do nicely, please. Ooh, ooh & KFC! It’s so much better over here too
4. Crab Rangoon at the Egg Roll Machine which yes, before I came here I really did think it was an egg roll machine – as in a vending machine you put a buck in & an actual…wait for it…egg roll came out? Yeah, I know right.
5. Jack Fry’s. Seriously – before you die, go there.
6. Haggis, neeps & tatties with HP brown sauce – a Scottish delicacy. I’ll let those who really want to know what Haggis is find out for themselves – not for the faint hearted but honestly, it just tastes like spicy mince (ground beef).
7. Oh my god I almost forgot – Wendy’s Spicy Chicken sammich!!!! The first thing I grabbed & wolfed down this trip.

7 Things I say most often:

1. “Really??!!”
2. “What the fuck, Dude!?”
3. “Before I hit menopause please!?”
4. “Och!” (Yeeaah, because even when I’m surrounded by Kentuckians the Scot in me shines through – “Och aye the noo!”).
5. “I love you”
6. “Yer arse in parsley” – (It’s a family thing)
7. “and a hot chocolate please”.

Ah I love these things nowadays. I saw this one floating around & figured I had nothing better to do.

It’s what, 15 days till Christmas? Mason was our joint gift to each other. There might be a little thing under the tree but really, all I want is to spend Christmas with a real family in a real home. For the first time since I was… 3 years old? Maybe earlier.

If anyone wants to pinch this, feel free, I did

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping is so much more fun.
2. Real tree or Artificial? Real. I love the smell of a real tree.
3. When do you put up the tree? Nov 1. Nah, around about now usually.
4. When do you take the tree down? A few days into the New Year.
5. Do you like eggnog? I’ve never tried it. Bear will pop my Eggnog Cherry this Christmas!
6. Favorite gift received as a child? I cried when I got my piano, but the favorite changed with every year.
7. Hardest person to buy for? Bear, funnily enough. But men always seem harder to buy for.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Me of course! Then again, my father is easily pleased too.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? No, the baby Jesus, sweet as he is, has no place in my home I’m afraid.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Oh mail, every time.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? The past 3 Christmases have been pretty shit, what with an abusive ex-boyfriend & the last one being spent without Bear… I don’t have much to choose from since I didn’t get anything those years – how about the dumbbells from my ex? “Don’t you want to get rid of that excess weight?” I shit you not.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It’s A Wonderful Life.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Late November & through December. I’m partial to a January Sales IOU though. – This is what I’ve asked my father for.
14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Christmas dinner of course! Turkey, potatoes, veggies. Chocolate!! And there’s always the mandarin at the bottom of my stocking right?
15. Lights on the tree? I like white maybe with a few twinkler’s – classy.
16. Favorite Christmas song? Ohh, that’s a hard one. The first one that comes to mind is Mariah Carey’s : All I want for Christmas. I do have a strong disliking for Mariah & all things Glitter but we’re talking early days here (no crazy, high pitched wailing plus her breasts were ever so slightly more contained) & come on, the video is cute.
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home. And I truly am home this year. When I was young I had two Christmases what with my mother & father divorced. It was awesome.
18. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Bashful, Grumpy, Sneezy, Happy, Doc, Sleepy, & Dopey. Dopey is my favorite.
19. Angel on the tree top or a star? I’ve only ever had a star, actually it was always this silver tinsel one I made at school when I was little.
20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning. You know my step-father would always make me wait until after Christmas dinner & everything, till I could open mine – 6 o’clock at night, I shit you not. All my friends & the few family who were interested would be phoning, asking what I got…
21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Probably the fact my mother forces me to make an effort with people who…well, never return the gesture. Last year it was receiving an empty card from my step-aunt & uncle when my mother spent at-least $150 each on their brats.
22. Favorite ornament theme or color? Bear’s mother asked me to pick an ornament from her Christmas tree last Friday. I was drawn to a porcelain angel by the way it was almost glowing from one of the tree lights.
23. Favorite food for Christmas dinner? I’m so sure we already nailed this one back at #14. But we don’t have Crescent Rolls in Scotland – I like Crescent rolls. Breaking them open thrills me to no end. Yes, I like Crescent rolls.
24. What do you want for Christmas this year? My tattoo. A Dallas Cowboys jacket & my Victoria’s Secret wish-list. Oh & the Aeropostal fragrance – their clothes smell so good I hate to wash them.

Bloody cheek! I’ve been tagged! by Craig.

I admit to having completed several Meme’s before but I’m not sure I could tell you exactly what a meme is. Either way, I’m IT so I better get cracking.

So, 6 unspectacular things about me ahe? This could be hard.

1. If you watch closely enough, my nose wiggles when I talk. Too cute I know.
2. I would stab Nancy Grace if given half the chance. Yeah, back of the queue!
3. Nowdays my meals mainly consist of tea, tea & more tea. I like tea. My insides are the color of “builders tea” by now I’m sure.
4. I like to have half the conversation in my head & then have people look at me like I’ve got 3 heads by coming out with the rest. I do this a lot. I think the best one yet was a few weeks ago when I turned to Bear completely out of the blue & professed loudy that we “didn’t go to McDonalds”. Well! We didn’t!
5. My family is more dysfunctional than your family.
6. I’ve been having proper, full on saliva dribbling cravings for Wendy’s spicy chicken sammich & I swear, as soon as I re-enter the country, I’m demolishing one within the half-hour.

I hereby tag Cassandra, Lee, Slick, Pearls & Roses, Keeley & Zoe. Don’t waste my time by making excuses like “I’m washing my hair” or “I’m ironing my smalls”. Just fucking do it.

Meme Terms and Conditions

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. List six unspectacular things about you.
4. Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.

So we’ve made our own little garden out of the balcony. I must have about 20 odd plants out there & Bear is putting up gorgeous little Chinese lanterns at I type. Actually, having just seen his handy work, I’m near tears it’s so pretty.

*Update – New photo*

(okay so it’s slightly ski-wiff but it’s all I could get before my batteries ran out)

There is more to it than just fancy lights & dirt though folks. We’ve been “saving plants”. Saving them from the people on the ground floor to be precise. Our landlord obviously spent a bit of cash on making the outside of the house/garden pretty & he left a good few plants down there, taking for granted the fact that those guys would actually… water them?! But heaven forbid. I’m talking $100 worth of plants down there, easily, all either dead or dying.

So, 3am this morning, I’m stiffling giggles in the dark as Bear hums the Mission Impossible theme tune.

Dun, dun, dun dun, dun, dun, dun dun, doo bee doooo, dooo beee dooo, dooo beee dooo, dooo beee!!!!!!!!!!

This afternoon I’d replanted 2 & scoped out another 3 for the taking. Evidently, we now have our cover of nightfall, but it’s no fun if it’s not in the wee hours right?! Seriously though, the amount we’ve spent on our own, to see those wasted like that? Fuck it, they’re mine & hell, if the folks down there start to miss them, I’m gonna start writing ransoms in leaves.

Why the recent blog fire hasn’t graced my own already I don’t know. People are stupid. Selfish at best & fucking useless at covering their tracks.

Yeah, oops.

So Keeley, what’d you do, just look Bear up or what? If you fancy digging for some dirt, bring it right on here ahe? Because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Honestly, I don’t care what your intent is, I just know you’re snooping. But okay, here you go, here’s some more info about him. Anything else you’d like to know, shoot me an email.

Music

Jazz, Alternative, … Chillaxin xD

I am …

Fiercely and proudly American, staunchly Libertarian. A proud man, proud of my country and my home state of Kentucky (though I’ve lived in Georgia, Alabama, and New York City as well), incredibly proud of my Little Lady, my family and my people. There is no purity of genetics here. We’re all mutts. We’re flat out just … Americans – a melting pot. And we’re free. That, more than anything really, is what binds us. I’m never afraid, but always ready to stand for and defend what I believe and for what my nation, and our belief in a free world represents. I believe in civility and kindness to one another. I believe that along with fear and cowardess, indifference is incredibly dangerous. Stand up for your fellow man, whenever required. That’s how I roll.

Sports

University of Kentucky, University of Louisville, in that order and yes I know that’s not supposed to be, liking both :p. Dallas Cowboys and the Atlanta Braves rock!

Scared Of

Nothing. I’m a grown man living in the greatest, most free, most powerful nation on earth. Like it or not, it’s not rhetoric, it’s just true. And I’m immensely proud of it. My country and our position in the world as the greatest beacon of individual liberty this globe has ever known, for over 230 years and counting. And if you dare shout slavery, yeah we fixed that more than 140 years ago with the blood and tears of more than 50, 000 American patriots. We have saved the globe from tyrannical dominance by my count at LEAST 3 times in the past century, and as I write we’re working on the 4th such time. And know, however begrudgingly, that we are the greatest force for Liberty, for Good on God’s Green Earth. Deal with it. We’ll continue being ourselves and the world will be better for it. Whether you love us, or hate us. We’re still going to live and act by our principles. Regardless, whether we agree or disagree, may the world continue in prosperity.

Happiest When

With my Scottish Angel, sitting out on our balcony together relaxing, talking and enjoying one another’s company. Going to Karma (our diner) on Sundays or even going down the block at 10pm to get her a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy’s or to get her some chocolate from the Speedway shop. Walking in our home after a long day at work to see her waiting for me at the top of the stairs, silly and smiling waiting to wrap her arms around me. The scent of her. OMG… the scent of her. And the scent of her spagbol that fills our house completely while she’s preparing it. I mean, damn, it’s actually got bacon in it! xD Ohh yeeaaahhh.

I’m unapologetic of…

Loving the best president of my country’s history. As a young boy, I grew up fearing the Soviets, the Cold War, a possible nuclear war, double digit inflation, double digit unemployment, gas shortages, and nearly 20% interest rates. Yes, Ronald Wilson Reagan was a great American, and is one of my heroes, as he nearly single-handedly put an end to all of that. He gave us, the world, a new optimism. He helped us to stand tall again. Today, all of eastern Europe is independent, the Iron Curtain destroyed. Today, all of western Europe remains free, free of Soviet tyranny and the threat of invasion. He taught us, again, how to stand up to facism and win. I lived it, and I was paying attention. Even as a young person. After all, I knew it was my future he was fighting for. Thank you President Reagan for fighting for me. Thank you for being so resolved, so courageous. May you RIP. And may your legacy never be forgotten.

The most profound thing I’ve ever read..

The Law — by Frederic Bastiat. “For the Law to be respected, it must first be respectable. … Man can live and satisfy his wants only by ceaseless labor; by the ceaseless application of his faculties to natural resources. This process is the origin of property. But it is also true that a man may live and satisfy his wants by seizing and consuming the products of the labor of others. This process is the origin of plunder. … When, then, does plunder stop? It stops when it becomes more painful and more dangerous than labor. It is evident, then, that the proper purpose of law is to use the power of its collective force to stop this fatal tendency to plunder instead of to work. All the measures of the law should protect property and punish plunder. ” — Frederic Bastiat, circa 1850.

State Fair was awesome.

But seriously, what the fuck’s with the bunny?

Looks like it’s been through our tumble drier!

Would make a great duster no? Reach all those nooks & crannies you dirty, lazy slobs have dusted around & not in/under/over/behind?!

Aye, I know the type. Don’t you just love seeing the outline of a dresser.

Seriously, I got your Swiffer BOGOF right here – the resemblance is uncanny no?

……

Shove a stick up…never mind.

…..

….

Wax on, wax off?!

…

..

.

Ah, nothing good ever happens at 3am.

Last time I looked, I was at 99 posts. All of a sudden, I find myself at 105 – make that, 106 including this one. What the.. I was all ready to do a “Happy 100th Post” kinda thing! So urm. Happy (belated) 100 Posts?!