***Warning: Photo Heavy Post!***

Yesterday we had an early Christmas with extended family. It was the most family orientated fun I’ve had in, well, ever.

You all know my own family doesn’t bode well, so this was certainly a surprise!

Not to blow my own trumpet but I was certainly center of attention. That dinning table wasn’t half happenin’ I’m telling you! What with being Scottish & all I’m not surprised conversation flowed so freely. I had a super time – The food was pretty good too!

There were so many new faces yet I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I was made to feel so welcome, everyone was so nice it was almost surreal. Safe to say I cannot wait until next year (then again, I may see those faces again sooner than I thought, what with the wedding & all).

After all I’ve been through in the years, just t0 feel confident, happy & in-control of my own self again felt amazing.

At one point a cousin of Bear’s asked me what my parents thought of my coming over here to stay.

“I’m sure they’ll be happy for you but surely they don’t want their daughter to be so far away from home”

I had a mouth full of beef brisket but I’m thinking to myself don’t even go there.

My reply was somewhat along the lines of my having left home at 16 for 3 years & that my family was not…close.

Little did she know that, no my family is not happy for me. My mother would rather I stayed in Scotland, under her watchful eye, & make a life for myself there. Besides, one should not live for their parents but for themselves. No?

However…

My mother phoned a few nights ago & we actually had a very pleasant conversation. It wasn’t strained or…irritating as it normally can be. Then again, she was on her own – as oppose to having my step-father looming over her & her every word. It was nice to let her in on everything that’s been going on & to let her know I’m safe, well & happy.

In other news,

Still nothing from the police. My mother said she would try to phone the detective today, assuming he is back from his holiday. Yeah, I hope he had a terrible time too.

I cannot stress enough how important it is that bastard is not gifted another Christmas with his wife & children. But alas, it looks like that’s what will happen.

Anyway, I guess I’ll keep y’all updated on their indifference as always.

Back to a brighter note; Here’s a few new shots of Mason (& Rocky).

Mooomm! He won't leave my tail alone!!

Walkies?

Apparently we're not keeping him warm enough

Let me run! Let me run!!

So many leaves, so little time.

So not only do I have my return ticket for November, but I also have an engagement ring on my finger. Something physical to show the world our commitment to one another. Compared to where we were my last trip here, we’ve come a long way. Like my Dad said this evening, this time last year, who’d have thought.

Talking of my dad, Bear followed tradition & asked permission for my hand in marriage. I’ve been going on all day about how he gave me away!! I know how much both of them appreciated such a thing though, & it makes me happy to know we have my Father’s blessing.

I mentioned before about how my dad wondered if we shouldn’t ask my step-father too. Well, we didn’t. Go figure. I mean so much has gone down between the two of us that well, it just wasn’t something I wanted, not to mention, I haven’t exactly heard of the “Never mind the father, ask the mothers second husband” tradition.

Talking of my mother…

I rang her today to break the news. I think she was pretty surprised. There were lots of “ooooohs” & “oh right’s”. In fact I joked that I had said “no“, & she actually believed me.. “but you said no first?” Guess she was so overcome she didn’t have her funny hat on…

Talking of failed SOH’s, I wasn’t sure if my step-father was there, but she did repeat a lot of what I was saying, “So you’re wearing an engagement ring“, so I’m inclined to believe he was. However, he didn’t say anything & he hasn’t phoned. But I guess none of this is really a surprise. Disappointing yes, but what’s new. The point is, that my father gave his blessing & wrote a wonderful email to Bear backing it up even further. Not to mention his own parents are over the moon too.

Hopefully I can whip out the camera just in time to get some candid shots of peoples reactions when I tell them, boy will there be some corkers. I had one message on a networking site today, actually from a (step)cousin saying “Officially engaged…? Whats this? I thought you were already engaged!“

Well, seeing as you actually took the time to type “officially“, surely you didn’t really miss the message there right?! But I guess so. I digress. So there I am, feeling like a bit of an idiot having to explain what the heck “officially engaged” means to this obviously dense (& yes she is blond) woman who I haven’t seen nor spoken to in 5 years. I mean, it’s not that hard is it? Neither a congratulations the first time she spotted the fact nor this time either may I add.

Talking of dense, & I should have put money on this being her main interest, but my father told my step-mother the news & her reaction was only in interest of the ring. Yeah, a ring on a finger, on the hand of a person who isn’t planning on ever seeing her again. Oh, & lets not forget “she’d rather have met Bear first“. And how exactly was she planning on doing that since we haven’t spoken since Christmas last year? Again, were we asking for her permission? NO.

Anyway, naysayers aside. I’ve spent the whole day grinning. I’m so aware of my ring it’s getting to the point of obsession. It’s so beautiful, with a fiery diamond that catches the light spectacularly. I love it. And I love him.

I’ve seen our relationship move up a whole other level in the past 24 hours. I can feel it. Sure, we already considered ourselves engaged but last night we actually made the commitment & today I’m wearing a symbol of that.

I look at my left hand today & see something I never thought I’d have. I see a hand of a woman, a woman who is loved & wanted. A woman who is embarking on yet another new chapter in her life, hand in hand with the man she wants to spend the rest of her days with. Something that will be very prevalent in the next few months will be that this is the hand of a woman who cannot be controlled nor treated as a child.

Something I mentioned to Bear today was the fact that I hope seeing this ring in the tough times to come will give me the strength not to falter with my self injury. I’m optimistic that seeing it there in those dark moments will give me courage.

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What happens next?

Well, I’ll be coming back to Bear in November. I’ll experience my first ever Thanksgiving, spend Christmas & my Birthday here. Then, if finances are what they should be, Bear will come back to Scotland with me in February to meet my family & see my home & the places I love & miss. We really want that, plus it’s only right he meets everyone before we marry. During those months we’ll apply for the K1 (Fiancé) Visa (which will include interviews with the Consulate) that I’ll return on, which then gives us 90 days to get hitched. When that happens, I become a permanent resident. Our wedding truly will be our union. There’s a lot to do, but it is doable.

So we’re talking a Spring wedding. I missed Springtime here this year, so I’m really looking forward to seeing my new home in bloom. But really, it’s time to start some serious planning right now!!